1. When my dad died I went through the hundreds of business cards he had accumulated over his career and pulled out those that meant something to me.
In 1993 my dad and I went on a holiday to Australia to visit family. I remember my dad telling me that he had been speaking to the travel agent and we could have a few stopovers on the way to Australia, "It's going to be $50 a pop bud, so where would you like to go?" My dad called me bud and it drove me crazy. Bud or chicken legs. I would kill to hear him call me anything now. I digress, on our way to Australia we ended up stopping in Singapore, Japan and Korea.
In Singapore I cut myself on my leg, just above me knee, while shaving. Later in Australia the cut became an ulcer. My dad went mental, apparently the ulcer was all down to the fact that I don't like tomatoes. If only I hadn't taken the tomatoes out of my burger at dinner. If only I ate tomatoes with my scrambled eggs at breakfast.
Japan was the centre of all things Martial Arts, which was a big part of our lives at the time, and therefore a necessary stop. We ate at McDonald's for all of the meals I can remember. My dad bought some stamps for our karate teachers with their names translated into Japanese. My dad spoke no Japanese and my memory of him ordering those stamps always brings a smile to my face. He needed to convey the fact that we were leaving in a few days and therefore needed these stamps finished beforehand - this was all acted out in a bizarre pantomime in the foyer of the stamp shop. His aeroplane arms were very realistic.
I'm not sure why we stopped in Korea, apart from curiosity. While in Seoul we visited a tailor (whose business card my dad saved and appears above) where my dad had a jacket made. Now what kind of jacket do you imagine he ordered? Double or single breasted? Tweed? Wool? Silk? No. My dad had a shiny black bomber jacket made up with a custom embroidered HUGE golden tiger on the back. The tiger had everything to do with Karate, of course, and it was awful. He wore it everywhere. My dad had an interesting outlook on clothing. His favourite type of pants (he had multiple pairs in a multitude of colours) were a style of stretchy chinos from MEC (a Canadian outdoor store) that had lots of leg pockets. Business like, yet suitable for evasive action or a citizens arrest. Plenty of discreet pockets for pocket knives and the like. The awful pants went with the tiger jacket quite a lot.
The shopkeeper at the tailor also tried to set me up with his son. I was 13. The shopkeeper gave me a laminated four-leafed clover to remember my visit to Korea and his son.
2. Random hairband. Is it yours? I shall return it if notified.
3. Jordan and I in an unknown photobooth. Jordan is squinting and I seem to have some sort of ombré hair. Some of my greatest laughs happened with Jordan and I miss her. Old friends soothe the soul like nothing else.
4. This is a magnetic ferry schedule that lived on our fridge when I was young. I grew up on Bowen Island in British Colombia, Canada. I keep this magnet on my fridge now. I can't let go of Bowen Island. Do I need to let go? I don't want to.
My parents bought a block of land on Bowen Island for $40,000 before I was born and we moved to Bowen Island when I was a few months old. We lived in five different homes on Bowen Island. I remember having a wonderful childhood. Wonderful. I think I was very wrapped up in my own little child world as the happiness mustn't have been shared among my family. My parents divorced when I was in highschool and I'm pretty sure my mom was miserable for years. I think that my brother knows that he is loved, but he must have lots of sad memories as school was never easy. My brother was so tall, so thing, so quiet and didn't fit in with the majority/homogeneity of school. My dad is a complete mystery of accomplishment and self-embellishment. I think he was happy, but with himself? He died 6 years ago.
So, my mom wasn't entirely happy there and is remarried, my brother wasn't entirely happy there, my dad remains silent on the issue and we live on the other side of the planet. To me it is like the first half of my life is dead. I can't reminisce with anyone. We live in Australia so I haven't any friends here to flick through albums with and my remaining family wasn't happy there and don't like to talk about it. If I were to go back there I would probably know a few people. I haven't family there, so nowhere to 'go back to'.
I have such wonderful memories. Tobogganing, trick-or-treating, school sports days, community parades, pre-school parties, birthday parties, learning to ride a bike, primary school, community sports, community festivals, fishing at the beach, swimming at the beach, swimming lessons, sailing lessons, sunbathing, craft fairs, baseball games and taking that bloody ferry.
Does motherhood turn all women to look back at their childhood? I think about it all the time; the parenting I received directly influences the way I parent today. I should probably write down all my memories, then I can read and reminisce. So many things I 'should' do.
It makes me sad.
5. Moving on to something that makes me laugh. Chris Poole was a client of my dad's. I can't remember what the job was, my dad was a geotechnical engineer and mostly did sewage systems and retaining walls, not that I needed to mention any of that. It does bother me when I forget things. Anyhow, my dad was a HUGE scrounger. He would 'find' things at the dump, on the side of the road, wherever. Chris Poole was an ambassador and owned a rental home just down the road from us. He called my dad to let him know that he had just evicted the tenants and could my dad go down and have a look to make sure the home was secure etc. We went down and the house was secure, but ALL the previous tenants' belongings were still there. My dad contacted Chris to ask what was happening with all the furnishings. The tenants weren't coming back. My dad was in heaven. I can clearly remember sitting on a chair watching my dad dragging things to the car. A chest of drawers (clothing freshly tipped out), chairs (not the one I was perched on), a table and more. The fact that the tenants belongings were there does not make me laugh, but reflecting on my dad fossicking for what essentially was pretty much crap and definitely stuff that we didn't need and my mom was not happy to see.
My dad was always bringing treasures home. Once he found a hall/runner 'Persian' carpet on the side of the highway. My mom hit the roof. The carpet went to the basement. My mom hit the roof again. The carpet disappeared. When my parents divorced and my mom moved out - there was the carpet.
When my dad passed away my husband and I cleaned out his home. In his garage we found three microwaves, multiple mattresses (eww!), a complete kitchen, a canoe, half a car, half a couch and piles of 'projects'. It was funny, but sad because my dad was a smart man and was handy. He built a great portion of our 'main' home on Bowen; he built a traditional Dory, a type of row boat; he built a wooden kayak; he founded/created some climbing routes on the Stawamus Chief; he was on the ski patrol; he rebuilt the engine of my mom's orange VW beetle three times; he always fixed my car for me; he taught me to pop car tires/tyres onto their rims using petrol, a rag and a lighter; we earned our black belts together; but my dad was also a bit of a nutter. He was always yelling and raging; he cremated my rabbit using a bag of petrol; he used to fire our white garden rocks at the crows with a slingshot; he used to put a climbing harness on my brother and dangle him onto our sloping roof so my brother could clean the leaves off the roof; he once performed a citizens arrest; he told me that he had been a part of the 'secret' war in Vietnam (no, he hadn't); he attended retired servicemen memorials; he once bicycled half way to Adelaide on a whim, he telephoned me to inform me of his intentions and I couldn't hear properly for the noise of a hairdryer in the background that inquired about, "Oh, I'm just drying my underwear."; he brought a gun illegally into Australia, which I had to turn in at the local police station after he passed away; he did a lot of crazy things.
6. My Uncle Bryan who is not really my uncle, but I love him. Another thing I miss about Canada - my Uncle Bryan and Auntie Jan. From what I gather/remember Uncle Bryan used to work with my dad. He once told me a story about when he was travelling (emigrating) to Canada and met a man Bob. Then he met Bob again somehow again during his travels. And then Bob and his family lived on Bowen. That story was so much better with all of the details that I can't remember.
7. Me. Wasn't I cute.
8. The lid to a tiny wee jade box given to my by my friend Ashley. Every now and then I come across the base, every now and then I come across the lid, but never do I come across both at the same time. Peculiar.
9. Soccer medal. Did we win anything? I can't remember. I loved being on the school and community soccer teams. I wasn't very good, but I had SO much fun. "Never ever have I ever" had so much fun!
10. The Macfadyens are/were very good family friends. Malcolm is a glass blower. My mom likes to visit glass galleries and inform them about her friend who is a glass blower. I hide. Malcolm used to work as a Geologist and that is how he and my dad met. They had a business together: Access. They both were climbers and used to lower each other down long tunnels (penstocks - hydroelectricity yada yada yada) inspecting them. Usually in the United States and usually for a few weeks. I would always beg my dad to bring something back for me. Once he bought me a CD player (1993) and I bought my first CD: Pearl Jam Ten.
11. My friend Sandra and I saw so many rubbish movies. I still have most of the tickets. Once we convinced my mom to accompany us to the R rates movie Seven so that we could watch Brad Pitt in action. We saw many movies seated in the sticky old Park Royal cinema seats. We saw Exorcist and I accidentally banged my forehead on the seat in front of me in a fit of fright. Once we were watching one of the 'I know what you did last summer' movies; I remember during one scary part of the movie I asked her if I could open my eyes now and she said "Yes, nothing scary happens now." I guess she had seen it already. I opened my eyes. Something REALLY scary happened and I screamed REALLY loud. We giggled then and I giggle now.
Beautifully written Kim
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